My Insights Archives - Pam Macdonald https://pammacdonald.com/category/my-insights/ People, Passion and Vision Mon, 12 Jun 2017 00:01:48 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.3 5 Stages to Making a Personal Change https://pammacdonald.com/5-stages-making-personal-change/ Mon, 12 Jun 2017 00:01:48 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=156 How many times have you heard – or said – “I know I shouldn’t do this, why am I doing it?” As humans we seem to give ourselves a really hard time when it comes to forming new habits and replacing old unhelpful habits. The ones like eating too much chocolate, eating too much of […]

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How many times have you heard – or said – “I know I shouldn’t do this, why am I doing it?”

As humans we seem to give ourselves a really hard time when it comes to forming new habits and replacing old unhelpful habits. The ones like eating too much chocolate, eating too much of anything, spending too much, drinking too much alcohol/sports drink/coffee, hitting the snooze button, watching too much TV, not exercising enough, saying the wrong thing and so on.

Making a personal change has 5 stages and until you understand those steps you’ll probably keep giving yourself a hard time for not changing quickly enough.

When we give ourselves grief we often give up on the idea soon after with the little voice inside saying “see, I knew you couldn’t do it” And then we go and do the very thing we were trying not to as a way of soothing the disappointment.

Or was this this just what used to happen to me? I know it’s not because many people that I have coached have been stuck in this same mental rut and pattern.

So, what are the stages we go through? For ease of writing I’m going to refer to the “issue” as a mistake. That seems to be a softer word for most people and allows room for hope that it can be changed.

  1. Realise that you made a mistake after the fact. Remorse alone is not enough, however it has often been said that no problem can be solved until you realise that a problem exists.
    Congratulate yourself on phase one
  2. Realise that you made a mistake after the fact and know what you need to have done differently.  Change cannot occur until a new or alternate pathway is identified. Now you know that you have made a mistake and what choice you need to make differently and at what point.
  3. Realise that you are making a mistake as you are doing it. This is where we usually get really frustrated with ourselves and give up. “I know in my head what I need to do, but why do I not do it?!”
    The human brain is an organ of utter efficiency and it will always seek to take to smoothest, easiest and fastest pathway. That is why habits are so important as they allow the brain to do something very quickly and in a routine manner. The challenge comes when those habits become unhelpful.
  4. Realise that you are about to make that mistake and avoid it. You may only “just” avoid it, but you did it. Well done.  This is also a frustrating phase because you will repeat this phase a number of times before the new habit is formed and is strong enough to supersede the previous habit.
  5. Realise that you avoided making that mistake that you used to make all the time and smile. This is where we can be tempted to celebrate and for anyone who has been on a fitness kick, please be aware of the temptation to “celebrate” with unhealthy food.

There you have it. The 5 phases to making effective personal change.  Be kind to yourself as you proceed through the phases. Be aware that you will spend more time on some phases than on others.

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Getting Others to Understand https://pammacdonald.com/getting-others-understand/ Sun, 28 May 2017 03:35:35 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=149 Some times it feels like it’s really hard to get a message across to people. Like talking into a tin can on a string like we used to do as kids. Well, maybe not every child did this but we certainly did. Back to the subject – How can you get others to understand what […]

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Some times it feels like it’s really hard to get a message across to people.

Like talking into a tin can on a string like we used to do as kids. Well, maybe not every child did this but we certainly did.

Back to the subject – How can you get others to understand what you are saying?

Let me be clear – this is not about speaking another language, but it is about how to:

  • minimise misunderstanding
  • be more effective at communicating and save time

When we have a message to get across – whether it is aimed to influence, convince or inform others – it is important to make that happen. If it is slow or hard to achieve, then it can be really frustrating to have to repeat yourself.

Let’s look at some of the reasons why others may not “get” what you are trying to say

  1. The words you are using have a different meaning to what they understand. A colleague of mine tells a funny story of working in Africa with someone who said that they would be back to visit “just now”.  My colleague “heard” that as being within the next hour or so. After waiting 4 hours she discovered that “just now” in that area is actually equivalent to “when I get a chance” and that within an hour is referred to as “now now”
  2. They do not understand the context that you are in and, perhaps more importantly, they may be in a different context. Let’s say you want something done “urgently” because you have a deadline of 4pm today.  To a person who works to weekly deadlines not daily ones, urgent could mean “by the end of this week” when you meant “by the end of today”
  3. You are using different language to emphasise meaning.  People learn (and speak) according to their preferences which can be broken broadly into Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic.  What that means is that a visual person will ask if you “see” what they mean, whereas others may find something “sounds” right or “feels” ok

Courtesy of http://trainingahead.com.au/

Why does this matter?

We are all trying to get a message across. Whether it be in sales. Or at an interview. Perhaps in a meeting. Anyone with teenagers knows this feeling! You get the drift. Getting your message across is something that is important in all areas of our life – at work and at home.

Here are a few of my tips that will hopefully help.

  1. Remember that not everyone uses the same style to communicate.  Learn to broaden the way you speak with others so you increase the chance of them hearing/seeing/getting your meaning.
  2. Focus on what you are trying to do.  Beginning with “why” is something that not just Simon Sinek suggests, it is key to preparing your own message and also being able to understand what parts of that may have interest and impact for others. (No teenager has cleaned their room because it helps mum, but many have because it helps them)
  3. Take a little time to plan key messages and using a tried and proven model such as 4Mat can help.  Begin with Why (for you and your audience) What (key ideas) How (almost the call to action) and What if (chances to be flexible)

http://www.4mat.eu/4mat-what-is-it.aspx

Getting others to understand really has two key components

Know what you are trying to get across

Being prepared to adapt to connect with your audience

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3 Steps to an Improved Reputation https://pammacdonald.com/3-steps-improved-reputation/ Mon, 17 Apr 2017 02:40:16 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=144 Recently I was assisting a client with a recruitment project by doing their screening interviews for them. Those short 15-20 minute phone calls that are informal but oh so telling – when conducted the right way. There were a few key lessons about reputation from that experience that I’d like to share with you here. […]

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Recently I was assisting a client with a recruitment project by doing their screening interviews for them. Those short 15-20 minute phone calls that are informal but oh so telling – when conducted the right way.

There were a few key lessons about reputation from that experience that I’d like to share with you here.

Your reputation is the one thing that goes with you everywhere

One candidate that I contacted was about to start an annual holiday with family, yet was very clear that the role was of interest and that the candidate would be available for both the screening interview and the follow up interview by skype if required. Result: impressive level of commitment to this role. Being careful not to read too much into it, this candidate could be demonstrating the types of behaviour traits any employer would want. Or the person could be desperate for a job.

How keen is too keen

Another candidate that I contacted called me back rather than emailing or sending an SMS as I’d requested to arrange a time to speak. This was awkward for me as I was in the car and had no access to my diary (blue tooth is fine for calls but not checking my diary) and also as the number was not listed in my contacts list.  How I answered must have sounded slightly tentative. We had a brief chat and once I was out of the car I confirmed the time by SMS.  Our screening call went well and when I briefed the client I was told that this candidate has been ringing the office very frequently checking if there are any jobs available and on the progress of this application. Result: Initial impression of super keen and great attitude, with the longer term impression of someone who might burn relationship bridges with co-workers by constant calling even before the opportunity to work as part of the team.

How you respond to a question tells a deeper story than you might think

Another candidate responded to my initial request to “contact me with a time between 8.30 and 12.30 for us to have a brief chat about your application for XYZ role” with “What job is this for?” Result: impression that “my job” the one I am wanting to interview for is not important to the candidate.  For someone to show a low level of interest at the interview stage, after they have submitted an application, doesn’t auger well for their level of interest and behaviour as an employee.

Things that make you go hmmmmm.  This response indicated that the person a) hadn’t read my message correctly and b) that there had been a scatter gun approach to job applications.

Interestingly I was at a networking meeting a short while after and related this story – not identifying the client or the individual involved – and saying how I had this experience and felt “underwhelmed” about this candidate as a result. To my surprise one of the people I was talking to piped up and said:

Well I was applying for a job rather than working for myself a while ago and I was sending 2 or 3 applications out each day, and some companies were taking up to 4 weeks to get back to me. That’s up to 60 applications later and I could never keep track. How would I know which application might have been followed up? Most companies don’t even do the courtesy of responding!

Let’s stop right here!

  1. Yes some companies do not respond to all applicants – there are many reasons for this (and I’ve posted in LinkedIn professional forums with my views that some form of response is always important). Why does that then provide an excuse for an applicant to do anything other than be ready for a response? Sure it’s disappointing and frustrating and soul destroying when application after application is not responded to.

    That is no reason to give up and to respond in anything other than a professional way when you are contacted

  2. When someone claims on their application or responds to a job seeking good organisation skills this response is a big NOT SUITABLE.

When applying for a variety of roles, keep a spreadsheet of key details so you can keep track and also respond appropriately when you are contacted.

This particular client activity was insightful for a range of reasons, and in terms of the subject line of this blog let me summarise the 3 tips to boost your reputation

  1. Be clear 0n what you want to be known for and take steps to make sure you behave that way.
    If you claim to be “system oriented and organised”, then respond to contact in a way that supports and enhances that claim. It’s OK if you need to say, “let me gather my thoughts for a moment (while you open your spreadsheet) and I’m ready to chat
  2. Remember that your reputation is supported or created by others in your network.  We speak of the world being a small place and that there are 6 degrees of separation.  Be consistent with how you behave in regards to your reputation. If you claim to be well spoken, then every interaction that anyone has with you needs to support and enhance that impression.
  3. Behave now in a way that you can sustain. We speak of a honeymoon period in a new role when forgiveness for mistakes is easier to get than once you are established, and it is also the period for which people can “hold on to” a facade.  To build a strong and resilient reputation, start the way that you intend to always work. That includes energy, enthusiasm and work hours. (exceptions and all hands on deck situations aside) be aware that how you start is the way that others get to know you and then expect you to behave.

Reputation is important to all of us online and offline, or “live” as I have seen it referred to recently.

Whether you are seeking a promotion, a new business partner or to boost your connections. I trust that this post has been helpful. Feel free to contact me if you would like to clarify anything you’ve read here or to find out ore about what I do to help people and teams to improve and enhance their reputations.

Regards Pam. pam@broadspring.com.au

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Stop Learning! Start Doing! https://pammacdonald.com/stop-learning-start/ Sun, 12 Mar 2017 23:25:49 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=139 It’s time to stop being passive and waiting for someone to tell you what to do. Stop being the “smaller” person in the story Start being a leader and showing your skills Start putting what you have learned into practice   Inspired by a comment – “You’ve got to learn to earn”  Grrrrrrr To earn […]

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It’s time to stop being passive and waiting for someone to tell you what to do.

Stop being the “smaller” person in the story

Start being a leader and showing your skills

Start putting what you have learned into practice

 

Inspired by a comment – “You’ve got to learn to earn”  Grrrrrrr

To earn you need to

  • put your skills and strengths to targeted use
  • understand what problem you solve or value you add
  • make a difference
  • do something!

This whole concept of needing to learn more before you can earn more does my head in!  Now those who know me may be scratching their heads as I am a strong advocate for professional development and lifelong learning.  That is still very true.

What I disagree with is a blanket comment stating that people need to study more/buy more books/enroll in more courses/sign up for more videos before they can be successfull

I call BS

Most of us know a lot more than what we put into practice and that is the problem. It’s not what you know, it’s what you do with what you know that makes a difference.

None of my coaching clients has asked for my qualifications when asking for my help and advice.  And when giving me their grateful feedback, none mentioned that I did such a good job because of my qualifications or learning. What makes me a good coach is my ability to ask very good questions and to listen intently.

Please do maintain your professional skills and accreditation but it’s time to start putting all of your knowledge and experience into practice.

Test out the theory.

Apply the concepts

Have an honest attempt and do your very best

We need more of that in our economy and our society.

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Consistency Trumps Enthusiasm – every time https://pammacdonald.com/consistency-trumps-enthusiasm-every-time/ Mon, 18 Jul 2016 07:45:32 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=126 Whenever I hear someone say that they are motivated now to give 120% I shudder and I’ll tell you why. A client of mine, lets call her Carol, came to me seeking advice on how she could improve her career prospects and get promoted. She told me how hard she worked building up her qualifications […]

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A fractal is beautiful in detail and the overall

A fractal is beautiful in detail and the overall

Whenever I hear someone say that they are motivated now to give 120% I shudder and I’ll tell you why.

A client of mine, lets call her Carol, came to me seeking advice on how she could improve her career prospects and get promoted. She told me how hard she worked building up her qualifications and her project experiences which was what she thought her boss was after.

Carol also told me that she gave 120% on the big projects – working long hours and on weekends to make sure that deliverables were met and the project was a success. Ans yet she was not being promoted or given significant responsibility on any of the projects she was working on.

Now before you start commenting on how bad or blind her boss was, let me share one more thing with you.

When I asked Carol how she “pulled up” after these major projects she dropped her head slightly and told me that she usually got really sick after big efforts and usually had to take a few days of sick leave. She went on to say that on longer projects or things that she was really passionate about that she tended to get major physical symptoms (think stomach upsets or migraines and you will begin to recognise someone you know and work with) about every 7-8 weeks. This had happened several times over the past year and she was really frustrated that her hard work and extra effort was not being recognised.

The point I am trying to highlight here is that Carol was working herself beyond her capacity – like over revving an engine – for a period of time until she broke down and needed some time off. She could not plan or pre-empt when these incidents would occur and while she said it hadn’t negatively impacted any projects I had to ask the question.

How do you think this affects the reputation you have with your bosses?

Sure, Carol was known as a hard worker and in fact her work ethic was never in question. What was happening though was that Carol may have been seen as not “robust enough” or “resilient enough” to cope with the work culture at that company (haven’t we all heard those words before!)

What is the reason for me sharing the story of “Carol” with you?

There are actually several reasons:

  1. When we work hard that often makes us think we need to work longer and that’s not sustainable
  2. It is frustrating when we put in a lot of extra effort (and hours) for no recognition
  3. What matters in the workplace is the impact not just the input
  4. Working at excessive levels cannot be sustained without short and long term damage – to health, relationships (both at work and outside work) and reputation

My own personal experience with this also sends the same message as that of “Carol” because I thought working hard would generate results and rewards and what it did for me was compromise my physical and mental health, as well as the most significant relationship of my life. I’m grateful that I had someone to call me out on what was happening because in the midst of it I was unable to see what was really going on.

As a leader and having done some research, including with sporting team coaches, I can confidently say that it doesn’t matter that one person puts in 100% or 120% – what really matters and makes a difference is when each member of the team puts in their focus and attention.Everyone matters

  • 120% effort cannot be sustained and leads to cycles or ups and downs in your performance and delivery – this in turn directly affects the impression that others have of you and your reliability
  • Reputation is a critical factor in career success – that’s why reference checking is so important to companies and why networking is a vital component to career success
  • Many “development” programs fail because they stimulate enthusiasm and excitement – the desire to go and conquer the world this week. What these programs miss is how to sustain that enthusiasm and passion

The title of this post is Consistency Trumps Enthusiasm and I need to conclude the story of “Carol” to explain why I say that.

After working together, Carol agreed that her intensity could not be sustained and she also realised that her 100% effort was equal to more than 100% of most of her colleagues – Carol is very good at what she does. (as are all of the people that I coach)

Working through my coaching framework helped Carol realise that her 80% is equal to the 100% (or more) of most employees. Implementing my Action Plan process enabled Carol to test that theory where she discovered that working consistently at 90-100% of her ability enabled her to do these 5 critical things:

  1. Create and maintain her reputation as a high performer who can be relied on to deliver
  2. Deliver outcomes to clients (whether internal or external) that make a positive difference and earn an income for the business
  3. Achieve personal satisfaction and a sense of achievement – because no-one has ever said in their deathbed that they wished they spent more time at the office!
  4. Recognising that career and work satisfaction relies on being able to look back on your work and results with pride. If it’s been up and down then you will feel regrets
  5. Be recognised and rewarded for her contribution – Carol was promoted within 3 months of us having this particular coaching conversation

Enthusiasm will fade quickly but consistency is what wins the race. Isn’t that what was the moral of the fable of the tortoise and the hare?

Sometimes the things we hear early on in life are the things we need to keep hold of.

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Resume Writing 101 https://pammacdonald.com/resume-writing-101/ Wed, 22 Jun 2016 03:58:08 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=123 Your resume is like a marketing brochure just for you and therefore it is one of the most important documents that you will create in your career. There are lots of templates and formats and things to consider so this post is the 101 or basics of creating a high impact resume.   Key Tips […]

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job-search-276893_1920Your resume is like a marketing brochure just for you and therefore it is one of the most important documents that you will create in your career.

There are lots of templates and formats and things to consider so this post is the 101 or basics of creating a high impact resume.

 

Key Tips

Insert your name and contact details as a header or footer – when your resume is printed in hard copy that will make sure that it is easy to correctly collate your information.

Make sure that you use the same font size and text style all the way through – with the exception of headings of course – to make the document flow and be easy to read

Format your document so there is a good amount of “white space” as this will make it easy to read whether on screen or on paper

Resume Styles

Chronological

Most resumes are in chronological (or date) order by role with the most recent role listed first and the oldest one last. This works well when you have a good amount of experience. Typically the resume will include, for each role,

Job Title, Company, month and year started – month and year finished

Followed by key responsibilities and achievements

Be careful about how far back you go with your roles – for those of us who have been working for over 20 years we don’t want to be sharing out of date experience.

Functional

People who have changed roles more often than they are comfortable with OR who want to change career OR who have limited experience may choose a Functional format for their resume.

The functional format focuses on listing up to 6 capability or skill areas supported by examples of where those capabilities have been displayed. The emphasis is on the skill outcome rather than the company and role that has been held. Typically this would look like:

Capability Area, examples of experiences and outcomes. Then after the capability areas a list of companies where this experience has been gained in the format of Job Title, Company, start and finish month/year.

Content Format

The following is a sequential list of what sections to include in your resume.

  1. Career Objective
  2. Key Attributes (if using the Functional style) or Key Capabilities (if using Chronological style)
  3. Experience
  4. Qualifications
  5. References Supplied on Request

Some roles will specifically request information, such as listing your references in which case include them.

Describe your experiences in the STAR format rather than listing the tasks or responsibilities. For key achievements and outcomes that you are proud of describe them in terms of the Situation that existed, the Task that you were responsible for delivering, the Action you took (which may be well within your role or at times beyond it for the right reason) and the Result that was achieved.

If you have found this information useful, please feel free to share the blog with others or contact me with your feedback.

As an experienced career coach and someone who has changed roles in my own corporate career, I’ve written and read many resumes.

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Customer Service Needs Great Teamwork https://pammacdonald.com/customer-service-needs-great-teamwork/ Wed, 30 Oct 2013 02:16:09 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=53 This week I’d like to share a story about teamwork (or the lack of it) and its impact on customer service. Earlier this week I went to see a play – I subscribe to the full season of a theatre company and usually see one play a month.  About 10 minutes before the scheduled start time – […]

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This week I’d like to share a story about teamwork (or the lack of it) and its impact on customer service.

Earlier this week I went to see a play – I subscribe to the full season of a theatre company and usually see one play a month.  About 10 minutes before the scheduled start time – the time an announcement that the doors are open and we can take our seats – an announcement was made, but it was different to the usual format.  All patrons were advised that the play was cancelled for that evening and that all patrons should make their way to the Booking Office.

Given that I had driven about 150 kilometres to attend I was disappointed, as was every other patron and I’m sure the actors and staff were too. As instructed, many of us filed towards the booking office area.  So far so good right?

Well here we start to go off the rails a little.

There was no-one to marshall or organise the hundreds of people now converging on the box office area – and there’s not a lot of room to stand. It’s right near the entry way which meant that people were trying to come in (to see the play) and they could not get in the door for the crowd – but as they didn’t know about the cancellation somestarted pushing their way through the queue.  Other people seemed unaware of where the line was and just pushed their way in somewhere trying to get to the box office.

A young female staff member started moving her way along the line handing out envelopes. No explanation of what or why, just handing everyone an envelope.

A few minutes later a young male staff member begins handing out the same envelope to the crowd. This time I had the chance to ask a question “What is this for?” He explained it was for re-booking. “I’ve driven in from 150kms away and would like to rebook now before I leave if that’s possible.”

“Do you have your ticket with you ma’am?”

Huh? I’m at the theatre ready to see the play and you need to present your ticket to get in the door. (that was the inside my head comment) My response was “Yes I do, is it possible to rebook the ticket here?” Yes, just stay in line and see one of the staff at the box office.

By now I’m getting a little peeved at hearing an instruction and seeing different behaviour – why were we all directed to the booking office if they are just handing out envelopes to rebook into other performances? And at this stage nothing had been said about why the performance was cancelled. I presumed ill health as it is winter and there are a lot of colds going around.

At last I make it to the head of the line and speak to a booking office staff member who says……

“Just fill in the envelope and we’ll be in touch in 2-3 days to rebook you”

Once again I explained the tyranny of distance and asked if I could rebook now so it was in my diary and sorted before I turned around to drive home.

The lady left the counter – presumably to check with her supervisor – came back and said “No we are not processing any rebookings tonight”

Hmmm.

So I left my ticket in the envelope with a note for someone to call me and get it rebooked.

Hopefully you now see my point about teamwork and customer service – if the original announcement had instructed us to get an envelope from a staff member to have rebooking arranged at a later date then it would have been far less chaotic.

My happy ending is that I received a call from a lovely and helpful lady who listened in shock to my tale of woe (she seemed condused that I was refused the option to rebook on the night) and rebooked me into another performance on a date that suited me.

The moral of the story? Well there are several:

– team members who communicate or interact with customers MUST be delivering the same message

– in a crisis, people do get nervous and can say unfortunate things – make sure an experienced head is with someone new where possible

– don’t rely on good recovery and back up to get you out of trouble – it does fix the mess but it’s far better to have avoided it in the first place.

Oh, and I discovered that it was a technical problem with the staging that caused the cancellation.

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When Something Going Wrong is Actually Something Going Right! https://pammacdonald.com/something-going-wrong-actually-something-going-right/ Wed, 30 Oct 2013 02:12:07 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=49 There are times when things “go wrong” and when you look back on it you realise that the “wrong”thing was actually the “right”thing, or the best thing that could have happened.  Has that ever happened to you? OK, I realize this could be a little confusing.  Let me explain… Have you ever had something planned, or been […]

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There are times when things “go wrong” and when you look back on it you realise that the “wrong”thing was actually the “right”thing, or the best thing that could have happened.  Has that ever happened to you?

OK, I realize this could be a little confusing.  Let me explain…

Have you ever had something planned, or been doing something – like having a conversation – and things just don’t go to your plan?  For example the conversation goes off on another tangent that you hadn’t anticipated – but it opens up a whole new thinking and action process for one or both of you. Or it gets you onto a topic that you never knew you had in common and hence a friendship is formed or strengthened.

Have you ever had that happen? That’s what I mean by something going “wrong” is actually OK, or even right (or better than what had been planned).

Initially it can feel disappointing and frustrating and then you realize that it was actually better that way.  Usually.

An experience of mine last week certainly fit the bill of being a better outcome!

I had decided to travel by motorcycle to a client meeting.  We’ve been working together for a while and parking is usually difficult around her place of work, and so I thought  “yay, a chance to get out on the bike”  I was also meeting with a newer client and there was a little doubt in my mind about her reaction to the motorcycle (and the associated protective gear that I wear – very different to my usual corporate wardrobe!)

And then there was the weather – it had been forecast as a very hot day – so I was going to have a severe case of “helmet hair” (flat and sweaty from the 40 minute ride) as well as a probably red face from being hot. My protective riding gear is great but it does make you feel hot and sticky. I’ve overcome these things before and I decided I could do it again. (For we women that is where make up and perfume come in really handy!)

Then there was the fact that the bike was low on fuel.  But I believed that I was on the reserve tank and would be ok.  I left home a little later than planned and rather than fuelling up near home and possibly being late, I thought I could make it to the meeting and fuel up on the way home.

Guess what, I was wrong! Very wrong.

I used a major arterial roadway to get from home to the meeting.  There was a lot of traffic due to an earlier truck break down causing things to bunch up and it was about 1.30 in the afternoon. I was about 3 or 4 kilometers from my exit (about 6 kilometers from my destination) when the bike gave me signs that it was out of fuel.  At the time I was riding in the middle lane at about 8o kilometers an hour. With traffic all around me.

The signs were very strong that I was out of fuel and I immediately looked for a gap and pulled left into a space and then straight into the emergency stopping lane. Where the engine died. No power whatsoever. Nothing. Just as I had got into the emergency stopping lane.

Rats says I. Or words to that effect!

Stranded.     Stuck. Worried about the streams of traffic flying past while I am in the emergency stopping lane. With nothing that I can do – there are no footpaths beside major arterials! And nowhere to walk. It’s designed for four lanes of traffic.

Grr, I’m going to be late or need to cancel.

I called for support and a roadway vehicle arrived, with fuel which got me started and able to head off – and home for a cool shower.

In the time I was waiting I emailed (from the smart phone of course) and rescheduled both meetings quite easily)

So it all worked out OK, kind of. And then I started to think about what had happened.

So what’s the good thing you might be asking? Well there is more than one!

First up was the fact that I made it to the safe side of the road without being hit by another vehicle.  Which given the speed with which I used my last fuel (remember that it was a hot day which may have helped some fuel evaporate, as well as the fact that I could only guess how much I had because I only have a main or reserve fuel tap, with no actual gauge to measure just how much or how little petrol is still in the tank.

In addition, the next day when I was driving that section of road I saw that where I stopped was the last safe stopping area for the next 3 kilometers.  Yes, the emergency stopping lane that I pulled into was quite short and ran out about 200 meters ahead of where I pulled over.  If the bike had run for even 200 metres more I would have been toast.

Then there was the fact that it actually got hotter later in the day so I would have been really sticky and uncomfortable for my meetings. Not the circumstances that usually allow you to perform at your best. And then having to ride home in the heat and peak hour traffic would have been really tough.

Finally, the fact that I went home earlier than planned opened up some time that day where I was able to tackle another issue and resolve it – so a problem was solved and thus off my mind. Cancelling those two meetings gave me a gift of time – during which I took a call and signed up a new client!

So I had a very lucky escape.  Sure I was (and am) embarrassed about running out of fuel.  In the 20 years I have held my license this is the first time I have run out of fuel.

What I also want to reinforce here is the choice I made. (yes, beyond the one not to fuel up before I left hee hee)

I had the choice to be down on myself and angry about missing those meetings.

I had the choice to run late (I got going in time to be half an hour late for the first one).

I had the choice to hang on to those feelings and the situation being “wrong” or not what I’d planned.

I had, and took, the choice to accept the experience.  To look for what positives and lessons I could take from it.

And yes I have learned that pushing the limits of the reserve tank has big risks. I learned that I am a very lucky lady because I safely came out of what could have been a serious if not fatal crash. (I had limited ways of signalling to traffic behind me that I’m stopped on a bike – hands in the air means no control over the handlebars and also relies on the driver behind to see me, recognise that I’ve stopped and be able to stop themselves in time before they hit me. Same for the vehicle behind them!)

I learned that rescheduling meetings is OK with people – when you have and share a valid reason and when it is not a regular occurrence. It also gave me a little more time to reflect and deeply prepare – although I had done that already, I took the extra chance to check over things one more time in my mind.

How many times do we judge events and ourselves based on what we planned as opposed to either how we responded/adapted or the outcomes we achieved?

Which do you really think is more important?

Really?

As Walt Whitman says, “Be Curious, not Judgemental” about ourselves as well as about others.  I chose to be curious about how I could make an initially awful situation into something different and better. As you can see, it didn’t take long. Can you try that for yourself?

If you lead a team of people, can you apply anything from this to your team?

I’d be curious to hear how you go.

The post When Something Going Wrong is Actually Something Going Right! appeared first on Pam Macdonald.

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