Uncategorized Archives - Pam Macdonald https://pammacdonald.com/category/uncategorized/ People, Passion and Vision Sun, 28 May 2017 03:35:35 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.3 Getting Others to Understand https://pammacdonald.com/getting-others-understand/ Sun, 28 May 2017 03:35:35 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=149 Some times it feels like it’s really hard to get a message across to people. Like talking into a tin can on a string like we used to do as kids. Well, maybe not every child did this but we certainly did. Back to the subject – How can you get others to understand what […]

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Some times it feels like it’s really hard to get a message across to people.

Like talking into a tin can on a string like we used to do as kids. Well, maybe not every child did this but we certainly did.

Back to the subject – How can you get others to understand what you are saying?

Let me be clear – this is not about speaking another language, but it is about how to:

  • minimise misunderstanding
  • be more effective at communicating and save time

When we have a message to get across – whether it is aimed to influence, convince or inform others – it is important to make that happen. If it is slow or hard to achieve, then it can be really frustrating to have to repeat yourself.

Let’s look at some of the reasons why others may not “get” what you are trying to say

  1. The words you are using have a different meaning to what they understand. A colleague of mine tells a funny story of working in Africa with someone who said that they would be back to visit “just now”.  My colleague “heard” that as being within the next hour or so. After waiting 4 hours she discovered that “just now” in that area is actually equivalent to “when I get a chance” and that within an hour is referred to as “now now”
  2. They do not understand the context that you are in and, perhaps more importantly, they may be in a different context. Let’s say you want something done “urgently” because you have a deadline of 4pm today.  To a person who works to weekly deadlines not daily ones, urgent could mean “by the end of this week” when you meant “by the end of today”
  3. You are using different language to emphasise meaning.  People learn (and speak) according to their preferences which can be broken broadly into Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic.  What that means is that a visual person will ask if you “see” what they mean, whereas others may find something “sounds” right or “feels” ok

Courtesy of http://trainingahead.com.au/

Why does this matter?

We are all trying to get a message across. Whether it be in sales. Or at an interview. Perhaps in a meeting. Anyone with teenagers knows this feeling! You get the drift. Getting your message across is something that is important in all areas of our life – at work and at home.

Here are a few of my tips that will hopefully help.

  1. Remember that not everyone uses the same style to communicate.  Learn to broaden the way you speak with others so you increase the chance of them hearing/seeing/getting your meaning.
  2. Focus on what you are trying to do.  Beginning with “why” is something that not just Simon Sinek suggests, it is key to preparing your own message and also being able to understand what parts of that may have interest and impact for others. (No teenager has cleaned their room because it helps mum, but many have because it helps them)
  3. Take a little time to plan key messages and using a tried and proven model such as 4Mat can help.  Begin with Why (for you and your audience) What (key ideas) How (almost the call to action) and What if (chances to be flexible)

http://www.4mat.eu/4mat-what-is-it.aspx

Getting others to understand really has two key components

Know what you are trying to get across

Being prepared to adapt to connect with your audience

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Know The Rules of the Game and then Play Full Out https://pammacdonald.com/know-the-rules-of-the-game-and-then-play-full-out/ Sun, 03 Apr 2016 06:33:34 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=107 One of the most common things I am asked by my coaching clients is “How do I know what I can and can’t do?” The answer to that is in the title of this post. You must know the rules of the game, or the boundaries, and then “play” your best to the fullest of […]

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One of the most common things I am asked by my coaching clients is “How do I know what I can and can’t do?”airshow-708640_1280

The answer to that is in the title of this post. You must know the rules of the game, or the boundaries, and then “play” your best to the fullest of your abilities.

Let’s take an example. An ambitious person, let’s call her Jo, wants to be in a good position for a promotion. She follows the rules as she knows them – wait for an opportunity to be advertised or spoken about, write a solid application, hope to get an interview, do your best at interview and then wait for the outcome.

When you know the rules of the game you will notice a couple of opportunities that Jo has not capitalised on:

  • when you work in a company, you are sure to know and be known to people who are involved in the decision to promote and who can speak highly of you as appropriate during the process
  • staffing decisions are rarely made by one person alone, most decisions makers have a trusted person or group that they will go to at least to “sound out” their decision
  • job applications need to function as an advertising campaign for the applicant, not just a summary of work experience
  • professional contact prior to submitting an application and appropriate follow up can be powerful indicators of your level of interest in the role, and that can make you stand out from other applicants

Similar to an aerial stunt team, if everyone does the same thing then progress is limited. Where is the evolution and excitement if everyone does the same thing? For the pilots in an air show, if they try to do the same thing as others at the same time they will end up in the same space and have a crash. There need to be some co=ordinated variations and differences in timing for it to be successful.

It’s similar for you when applying for a promotion or a new job with another company.

  1. Know what is unique about you and how you can showcase that and the benefits it will bring to the role
  2. Remember that your Reputation is a significant factor (it’s one of what I refer to as the Four Pillars of Career Success)
  3. Understand how to present your experience so it is relevant and compelling

Getting feedback and coaching from an expert career coach and someone who has successfully made their own career transitions is an excellent way of learning how to play by the rules of recruitment and ensuring that you bring your very best to the table.

Contact me for a free initial consultation on how I can help you to increase your success in the world of work.

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Do You Need Another Challenge or is it Time to Agree? https://pammacdonald.com/do-you-need-another-challenge-or-is-it-time-to-agree/ Sun, 03 Jan 2016 05:28:06 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=94 Typically at the start of a new year our media and social media is filled with people and programs inviting (or pressing) us to take on a “challenge” that will supposedly help us to reach our goals this year – when we have not been able to achieve them before. The challenge could be for  […]

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Typically at the start of a new year our media and social media is filled with people and programs inviting (or pressing) us to take on a “challenge” that will supposedly help us to reach our goals this year – when we have not been able to achieve them before.
The challenge could be for  diet / weight loss / gym / clutter / running / stress / quit smoking / drink less / drink more water / save money / dating / romance / reading
Yikes!
What I am interested in, as a coach, is how you react to the word “challenge” – in fact how each of us react to the word. What feelings come up for you when you are challenged?
Does it feel like a duel? (like in the old days with pistols or swords and to the death)
Do you feel inspired and encouraged?
Are you afraid of trying it in case you fail?
Are there feelings of anger or being judged as inadequate?
Or is it just another word?

Given the proliferation of challenges I suspect that the vast majority of the population feels and experiences some kind of emotional response to the word challenge and that the promoters behind it rely on that. You see it is typically emotion that compels us to act rather than merely a thought or logic. In fact I will go so far as to say that the promoters rely on a negative emotional response to the word challenge as humans usually respond faster and “better” to a negative emotion – we will move if in pain, take action if hungry, resist pain and so it goes on.

Think about the last time you ate a treat – was it because you thought “oh it’s about time for my weekly or monthly treat food? Or did you feel a craving or a desire for that treat food and then logically agree because you’ve been “good” so far this week/month?
Can you identify the emotional element to that internal exchange? And we all have those internal exchanges between logic and emotion, perhaps not only about food.

As we begin a new year perhaps it is time to refocus a little and perhaps you do want to make a change or do something differently.
May I encourage you to “agree” with yourself to make that change or make that difference rather than to challenge yourself. Particularly if the word has negative emotional connotations for you.
Agree with yourself to make some changes in order to create different outcomes than you have before.
Agree with yourself to commit to the goals you have set – in whatever area of your life – home or work or relationships or fitness or family.
Agree with yourself to engage a coach to support and encourage you to keep the commitment you make to yourself.
Agree to connect with someone who will be your supporter, cheer squad and “critical friend” when needed (the critical friend is the one who asks the tricky question of why you did something that was different to what you said you intended to)

Wishing you all the best for 2016.
May you deliver on all your agreements to yourself and make positive differences to yourself and to those around you.
Pam

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How Technology is Cramping Your Communication Style https://pammacdonald.com/how-technology-is-cramping-your-communication-style/ Fri, 01 May 2015 23:37:35 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=85 When I began to study and learn about communication skills oh so long ago there were no mobile phones, or tablets, or smart watches. In fact computers themselves had not long been present in a consistent way in mainstream business. All communication between people was face to face or perhaps on paper in writing. We […]

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When I began to study and learn about communication skills oh so long ago there were no mobile phones, or tablets, or smart watches. In fact computers themselves had not long been present in a consistent way in mainstream business. All communication between people was face to face or perhaps on paper in writing. We learned about the importance of feedback in communication.

Feedback is not just verbal or direct feedback, I learned to notice non verbal signs of how my communication message was being received. The significance of eyes widening or eyebrows rising which probably meant that the other person was shocked or surprised in some way about what I had said. Changes to breathing rate or depth of breath in terms of whether the other person was going to speak up or if they were holding something back. Noticing a facial expression change from a smile or to a smile as we were speaking. All of these things are clearly noticeable and gave direct and immediate feedback.

Why is that important? Because it allowed me (or whoever was speaking) to tweak and adjust the message style to maintain rapport and the connection with the other person.

The other thing that immediate feedback does is makes the speaker more accountable for the impact of what is being said and how to best deliver it so the intent of the message is understood. People often say they get tongue tied when with others yet they have no hesitation typing out a message. Why is that? Because there is a barrier between us when we use technology to deliver a message. There is no immediate feedback – I can type this blog and not be concerned about how each sentence is going to be interpreted or “heard”. I just send the message out and if there is any feedback there will be a delay.

Now technology and social media can be very fast with feedback and responses yet there is a delay of some sort. And in addition to that the feedback comes in exactly the same way the original message was sent – via words.

Let’s take an example. Person A sits down with person B and begins to tell them about their amazing weekend out partying with friends and dancing the night away at an awesome party. Person B frowns a little and turns slightly away.

What does that possibly tell you? There are a number of different possibilities:

– person B may feel left out at not having been invited

– person B may assume that their was alcohol involved and as a non drinker is not impressed

– person B may have a sore back/leg/knee and has moved to get more comfortable

– person B might have heard about a violent incident that happened later and is glad the friend was not involved

– lots more that you can think of and I won’t list

So, in a face to face conversation person A will notice that feedback and might ask a question.

If the comments about the evening and the party are on social media the only way for person B to respond is to type something. A questions such as “Did you have fun?” may look simple but it could be sarcastic. Why is this? Another communication tip that I learned was that only 7% of our communication is transmitted by our words. The remaining 93% is interpreted through body language and tone of voice.

That is right – communicating on social media add even this blog post is only using 7% of the available avenue to get a message across.

That is why it often takes longer to write an email, and a longer email, than if you were to speak directly to someone and be conscious of how the message is received.

I compare this to putting a sheet of A4 paper with a pin sized hole in it in front of your face to assess the world around you. Sure you can see a little bit through the hole, but only part of the picture. Imaging viewing beautiful or historical art such as the Mona Lisa for the first time through that tiny hole. You’d take such a long time to see the whole picture if you managed to persist that long and you would probably get an entirely different perspective.

So, why is this relevant on the website of a professional speaker and coach?

Because I speak and coach in the area of improving the effectiveness of working relationships.  I help people to be better, more effective communicators. And one of the things that I see very often is an over reliance on communicating via the keyboard rather than in person.

Yes it can be far easier and quicker to type a message than it is to call someone or speak to them. But think back to a time when an email you sent or a tweet you posted or a facebook post was misread by a friend and led to a longer exchange. Even some SMS exchanges grow to be really long because multiple texts are needed to sort out confusion and misunderstanding.

Please think about using the keyboard less and your direct contact with individuals more often. Especially when the topic is delicate or tricky.

We seem to be losing our familiarity and proficiency with the ability to choose words carefully and deliver messages well.

Sometimes the way to show that we care is to talk something through, even when it is hard for us to say and hard for them to hear, lets value the relationship and rapport more than a few minutes of discomfort.

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Welcome! Who am I and what is this site about? https://pammacdonald.com/welcome-site/ Sat, 03 May 2014 08:02:30 +0000 http://pammacdonald.com/?p=79 Much of what I do is work with people to enhance their careers. Not because life is all about work, but because people spend too much of their lives at work for work to be an unhappy and unfulfilling place. Rather than chasing the dream job, I work with people on defining their version of […]

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Much of what I do is work with people to enhance their careers.

Not because life is all about work, but because people spend too much of their lives at work for work to be an unhappy and unfulfilling place.

Rather than chasing the dream job, I work with people on defining their version of ideal and then matching that in their search.

This is what I refer to as the Four Pillars of Career Management. You see a career is much more than landing a job – sure it is important to have the right resume, perform well at interview and get the job. However let me ask you a question….

Do you know anyone who has landed what seemed to be the ideal job only to fail in spectacular fashion in 6 or 12 months’ time? That person or those people would be an example of those who do well getting the job yet not so well at holding it.

Finding and holding onto the right job is as much about knowing yourself as it is about mastering the interview process.

Successful careers are made frequently (or broken) on Reputation – which has everything to do with how you conduct yourself while in that role. There is more to it than that and we cover that in the Four Pillars program.

One of the key elements to that reputation is authenticity, or the aspect of being yourself; being true to yourself.

That’s really important to be able to accept that it is possible to be successful whilst being yourself; being who you are.

Now that might not be what you would consider appropriate. For example, you might wonder how appropriate it would be for a naturally smiling and happy person to be themselves while working with people with terminal illnesses.

You might not think it’s appropriate in that situation to laugh at work. And you know what?… You’re probably right! Although there is humor naturally in life and to suppress what comes naturally is, well, unnatural!

What is appropriate is when you feel compassion for someone, to allow that compassion to show genuinely.

When you’re talking to colleagues or potential bosses it’s okay to allow some of who you are to shine through, because, as human beings, we’re tribal creatures and we seek out others like us. We want to connect and we want to connect with people who are like us.

If you’ve hidden who you are behind some kind of facade or some kind of mask in an interview then it’s hidden, people won’t be able to see what’s being hidden.  That means you have to wear that façade while at work, or risk disappointing others and having them feel that they were deceived.

What others will see at any rate is that something has been hidden. They may not be able to describe what is being hidden, just the feeling that there is “more here than meets the eye”  You’ve heard that phrase before?

The human brain likes to fill in the gaps. If a human brain identifies that something is being hidden, it will go on potentially a creative journey to close those gaps; to identify what it is that’s been hidden¾to speculate!

So if you’re hiding your true personality someone else will sense that you’re hiding something, they might not guess that it’s your personality, they might think that you’re hiding a secret. They might think that you’re hiding a mistake. They might think that you’re hiding something that you don’t want them to know, and that will then arouse their suspicions. Once someone’s suspicions are aroused trust becomes very, very, difficult to maintain.

Therefore, being you is one of the key tips to being successful.

Your career is much longer and ongoing than an interview.  Career management and career success have much more to do with how you handle yourself while in the job, and how you interact with other people. The impressions we make are lasting ones.

Why not make an impression by being you?

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